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Page 419

February 12th, 2013, 9:00 am

Average Rating: 5.00
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Author's Comments:

Reply Haunshaul, January 18th, 2013, 4:41 pm

Not exactly the longest or most important chapter, but you have no idea how much fun writing the Gordon scene was.

Also, it took a while yesterday, but THE CONTEST ENTRIES ARE UP AND POINTS HAVE BEEN DISTRIBUTED. =D Also, in case anyone here doesn't follow Gigi's comic, I added my submission to HER contest to the Bonus Material page.

Reply Advertisement, July 20th, 2019, 1:52 pm

User's Comments:

Reply Ginchiyo, February 12th, 2013, 9:39 am

. . .? well that was silly

Reply Zelkova, February 12th, 2013, 11:37 am

Sometimes fillers can be a good thing. All work and no play would turn this from a funny nuzlocke with serious moments into a serious nuzlocke with no fun.

Also just got done rereading this comic from the very start.

Hauns tell me if this is pretty much right: http://www.smackjeeves.com/images/pb/6/6Np1KSmfIEGE9kHdX7tY2E.gif

If not then mind correcting it or make your own little chart?

Reply Haunshaul, February 12th, 2013, 1:44 pm

@Zelkova: I like this a lot! Ten points! Also, you should totally update this as the story progresses.

Erin was a girl, though, and I didn't really intend for any sort of lesbian relationship between them. But since there wasn't much character development between them I guess it's open for interpretation. I always thought it was moving more towards a sister-like relationship.

Yaga is also a girl but since there's no connection with her it's kind of irrelevant.

If you wanted to make it really awesome, you could make arrowheads at the end of lines to signify the direction of the relationship, as well as add borders to the images or something so it's easier to understand which category they fit in.

This is super-cool, though. Keep it up to date and I might add it as a section of the Character page. =P

I also encourage other people to make similar charts if their interpretations of the relationships are different. It gives me a better understanding of readers' perceptions so I know how to write the next parts of the interactions.

I might make some sort of more official post for this, since this is so long. =O

Reply Zelkova, February 12th, 2013, 2:01 pm

@Haunshaul: Erin was a girl? I somehow missed that. Seem like a pretty cool bro in my mind I guess so I kinda ignore everything else...I don't even know.

Anyway so I guess it wasn't love between those two, guess it was just how I seen it during their deaths that made me think that.

I was actually thinking about going all out on this but rereading the comic itself to refresh my mind (for example I honestly forgot Tyton and DJ had that disagreement even though that was only like 2 chapters ago) took a few hours to do even when skipping plot points and only reading character interactions. So by the time I got done I just said "screw it" and made a flow chart thing. I may recreate it and improve it now that I know you like it, which in that case I will make it more of a round robin kind of thing and be more direct with it when it come to each character feelings when it come to each other character.

Edit: Also I really should slap myself every time I forget that Pokemon can be female as well as male. Without voices my mind automatically assume they are male. Anyway with those 10 points we are now the top dogs in Hogwarts. 8D

Reply Miles Hikari, February 12th, 2013, 6:00 pm

Question, are all of the contest gonna be based on my questions? Lol

Reply Haunshaul, February 12th, 2013, 7:14 pm

@Miles Hikari: Well, you asked like half of them....

I have plenty of other ideas but I'm waiting for the proper timing and such.

Reply Miles Hikari, February 12th, 2013, 10:54 pm

@Haunshaul: I am a curious man with many strange ideas and you offered me an outlet to express them.... You only have yourself to blame.

Reply Haunshaul, February 12th, 2013, 11:08 pm

@Miles Hikari: I REGRET NOTHING!

Reply Miles Hikari, February 12th, 2013, 11:10 pm

@Haunshaul: Don't tempt me

Reply ozymandias_jones, February 13th, 2013, 3:11 pm

So it's time for me to do the chapter review thing, hold onto your hats everybody. This was absolutely a filler chapter, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Last chapter was character driven, but in a huge axial moment way, whereas this chapter was character driven in a cosy everyday life sort of a way, which is less exciting, but this sort of chapter really fleshes out the comic as a whole. That said, I don't know if it really works as a chapter in itself, if you know what I mean. This chapter could be split into four distinct sections, the chat with Wattson, the grinding, the talk with Ashlyn, and the introduction of Gordon. They were all good, and I'll look at them individually in a second, but I didn't feel there was anything stringing them together, they were four relatively unconnected sections (although the box thing linked the first and last I suppose). I've seen other nuzlockes use bonus comics for that sort of stuff, but I feel that in your comic it would be more suiting to just have this sort of thing here and there, maybe one in every other chapter, so that we still get the sense of cosy familyteam goodness which really enriches the comic, but it is nicely interspersed with more actiony or dramary bits.

OK, onto the first part, the chat with Wattson, which was probably my joint favourite with the last one. It seems really good for Tyton that he's kept in touch with Wattson, if that was mentioned earlier I must have missed it. This flowed on really well from the themes brought up in the last chapter, and feels sort of like a resolution to how Tyton and Haun are going to cope. I can't think of that much to say, it just ties up the last chapter really nicely.

The second part, the grinding, was fun, and there was an insanely cool page with Marston doing his eruption. I'm about to go off on a bit of a tangent, but some of the things that Rorschach said in this chapter really condensed an idea in my mind that has been brewing under the surface for a long time. And you can consider this part of my contribution to the character flow chart thingy. I know we all really love Rorschach, but I sort of noticed that it doesn't really feel like he's formed any genuine emotional bond's with other characters. What's more, he really doesn't seem to care about any of the others that much, if you think about it. He's intrinsically jolly, which I've always associated with friendliness, but I can't actually think of a situation when he's shown a genuine connection with another character, if I think about it. Furthermore, I'll admit, I haven't looked back to any of the parts around when the teammates were dying, but I don't remember Rorschach being particularly upset, the only time I remember him being upset was when Haun stormed off recently, and I think he was more shocked than anything in that situation, and he was quickly back to teasing DJ, before the situation was even resolved. I don't think that Rorschach actually has the ability to form emotional connections with others, he's a bit of a psychopath to be honest, and I don't use that word lightly. I think psychopath as a word is misinterpreted as someone who wants to kill lots of people, but what it means, at least in my interpretation of it, is someone who doesn't really care about other human lives, someone who honestly only cares about themselves (and someone like that is a lot less common than people think), and I believe that that description does, in a way suit Rorschach. He is clearly very self satisfied and really cares about his own well being (see the bit just before the Wattson gym match), but he only really sees the other teammates as interesting dramatic things which he can observe (see 'Mr Epic Camel Guy', his joyful observation of Gordon, etc.) and he shows no hesitation to harm others (see the laser face) because he really enjoys battling, whereas most other characters have shown mercy at many points, or at least shock to Hauns treatment of that Whismur. I know this is just a sort of muddle of points, and it hasn't really formed in my head, so don't get me wrong, Rorschach is my favourite character, I love how jolly and carefree he is, and if this has any truth in it, it will make me feel sorry for him, rather than dislike him, but I do honestly think that there is more to Rorschach than the happy character we know. I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this.

I don't have much to say about the chat with Ashlyn, it was nice to see a bit more of her, and get to know her better, because we didn't actually see her that much last chapter, although it was about her. I still feel that there's a big Marston/Ashlyn moment on the cards sometime soon.

The last part was great, I really like Gordon, I hope we get to see him again in the main comic at some point soon, he's great. "I was like, "What's uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup?" And You were, Bro. You were." That is such a cool line, especially coupled with his facial expression.

On a final note, is this the first time we haven't had a line of speech finishing on the last page of the chapter?

Reply Haunshaul, February 13th, 2013, 5:09 pm

@ozymandias_jones: Soooo I'mma go ahead and give you some points for that because it was incredibly long and I really do appreciate these in-depth reviews. I'd encourage other people to do them as well, but yours sort of say everything I feel like. Keep them up!

I agree that this was a little bit of a filler. This wasn't really intentional from the outset, but I wanted to end the chapter exactly the way I did and I had nothing else to put in the middle because the next forward momentum element is coming quite soon. I also really wanted to pull away from the heaviness of the last chapter and show that things really were getting better within the team.

Your points regarding Rorschach are very interesting, and I think you'll appreciate some parts of the next chapter. Not going to confirm or deny your ideas just yet, though. ;)

Also can't really say much about Ashlyn's bit except that she's going to probably take a while to...come out of her shell. YEAAAAAAAH!!

And to finally note your final note, I used to basically alternate chapters with having the last line on the last page and having the last page just be the ending. I ended up doing like four of the line-finishing ones in a row and thought the awkward post-Gordon moment would be a great way to bring back the sudden stop. =D

Reply coldhotshot, February 14th, 2013, 9:34 am

O wow, looking forward to that Rorschach development, like his epic backstory of being born into a royal family, going crazy and ending up rebelling against his empire. I imagine it something like that.

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