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Page 449

March 14th, 2013, 9:00 am

Average Rating: 5.00
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Author's Comments:

Reply Haunshaul, March 13th, 2013, 12:07 am

An on a bit more ominous note than most of you were guessing, we've finished Part Seventeen! Stay tuned for the super-special-awesome Part Eighteen, beginning tomorrow (duh)! It's gonna be even more of a deviation from my original story/art style than this one was. Which hopefully means you'll like it even more. I know I loved making it.

Looking forward to Ozy's chapter review, and anyone else interested in following suit. =D (Please don't feel obligated.)

Reply Advertisement, July 23rd, 2019, 3:54 pm

User's Comments:

Reply Ginchiyo, March 14th, 2013, 10:21 am

ooh yeah, part 18 is comin'!

Reply ozymandias_jones, March 14th, 2013, 12:08 pm

OK, time for my review thing! If I start by talking about not this chapter, can I say that I'm intrigued by your description of the next chapter? I really like how you deviated a little from the plot that the game gives you in this chapter, and it would be really great to see this a little bit more, even (and I'm aware that this is a lot to ask for), going up to a mini-arc which could introduce a couple of human original characters, and an original plot thing. I think you easily have the writing skills for this, but we haven't really seen any of it in the comic so far, mainly because you've been focusing on the characters. Nonetheless, it's been really nice to see a little bit of it in this chapter, and I look forward to seeing lots more. In the last couple of pages, and a couple of the other comments you've made which I've seen, I've noticed that you may be setting up a plotline with the PA as the antagonist, also possibly with DJ as a plotpoint, seeing as she kind of has to be kept under the radar of the PA.

Anyway, going through the current chapter in a more structured manner, the first part with Rorschach was indeed very interesting. It was nice to see him a little more, well 'human' isn't the right word, because he's a moth, but you get my point. I also hope that his games with Ashlyn continue and evolve into a proper friendship. I feel that Ashlyn is a bit lacking in development at the moment, as we haven't really seen very much of her, but there's definitely some interesting character dynamic possibilities, such as with Marston and Rorschach which we've seen, but I could also see her bringing out the more protective side of Gerald, or having a clash with DJ, considering that Ashlyn is allowed to battle, but probably has no enthusiasm to do so. So, I'd really like to see a bit more of Ashlyn, and a bit more of humanmoth Rorschach, as I don't really think this chapter has completely covered it, although it's definitely a step in the right direction.

The next part was more plotty and quite interesting, but by far my favourite part of this chapter was Chester finding Lannette, which I thought was great, and exactly the sort of great character driven humour I mentioned a couple of chapters ago. "Found her bro! Check it!"

The thing with DJ was a really nice twist, and although it still feels a bit deus ex mechina-y (I think I'm using this right) to allow you to have all seven on the team at once (and dont take that as a criticism, I would much prefer that you kept all seven with a slightly contrived plot rather than drop one), it totally makes sense with everything involving why Gordon was boxed and Ashlyn wasn't, and I was slightly worried before this chapter that it was going to be an 'oh look convinient box glitch lets forget about it' scenario. Still, I can't help but wonder, since this team almost certainly isn't your final in game team, in game you must have boxed one of the others (such as Ashlyn) at some point, and replaced them with a stronger one, and I'm wondering what you're going to do when we reach that part of the comic, as it would seem out of character for Tyton to just box one of his friends (especially Ashlyn after that fireside talk). Either that, or someone dies before you adopt the next proper team member, which is entirely possible, albeit sad.

On a final note, unrelated to any specific part of this chapter, I've recently noticed that some of your character designs are significantly different from the original Pokemon designs, for example Rorschach's and DJ's eyes, which are mainly only subtle changes, but which I really appreciate, because it makes it much easier to connect to them as characters, their original eyes would have made it difficult to display emotion.

OK, I think that's pretty much all I have to say this chapter. Since your description of the next chapter, I'm probably looking forward to it more than any other chapter so far.

EDIT: Oh yeah, I nearly forgot, I'm anxiously awaiting the answer to the question I've asked, as me and my friend have an honour-bet riding on it.

Reply Zelkova, March 14th, 2013, 5:05 pm

Did Rorschach ever became friends with the cookie?

Questions left unanswered! ;_;

But seriously no complaints. Felt like a filler compare to the game but nuzlockes would be boring if you follow them to the T. For a "filler" it felt pretty good to me and this is from a guy who know something about fillers (I'm a survivor of Naruto's filler hell and Bleach middle-of-the-main-battle fillers) so as far as fillers go as long you have a reason for them they aren't really fillers. So the term really shouldn't be used here. Derp.

Reply Haunshaul, March 15th, 2013, 12:35 am

@ozymandias_jones: Which question? I answered one from you a couple days ago, and my inbox doesn't have any others from you, unless you forgot to put your name in one.

EDIT: OHH. I forgot to upload it. Will do that in a few.

EDIT JR.: Uploaded! Also, the next in Miles's crazy-long line of question. =D

EDIT III: Questions*

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